Bloggers, Mark here. I guess it's been a while. I guess Ashley has had to carry the weight of the blog herself the last few months. Why? Where have I been? Why was I M.I.A.? Why was I A.W.O.L.? Why was I O.F.F.L.I.N.E.? If you know me, then you probably know where I was. On the other hand, if you don't know me, you probably don't care. I was at a classified government facility participating in top secret military training for an undisclosed length of time. I've said too much already. Let's just say say that I am back now and you, the public, can sleep safely at night knowing that your freedoms are safe and your precious traditional way of life is secure. You're welcome.

I found that my old sideburns got in the way of my situational awareness

holding up the nation's walls

Of course, what you don't see is me sitting around in an auditorium listening to lectures for several hours every day. I guess the whole experience kind of turned me into a trained killer.

but I still missed my family :(